There are certain things every man needs to hear. They are universal. EVERY single man on the planet needs these things. It’s your job, as his mate, to meet his needs and make him feel loved.
Wanna know how?
All you need to do is learn how HE reads things so you can get on the same page and show him that you really care for him in a way he’s never been cared about before, by anyone else. Do that and he will love you for life. Because he will not get those needs met by anyone else. He will come to you to get those needs met and you will love having him come to you, because you really DO love him.
Win-win!
9 Things Every Man Needs to Hear
I respect you
For a woman, although we want to be respected, love matters more. For a man, the opposite is true. A man would rather be respected than loved. In fact, he understands that he’s loved IF you respect him.
There are many ways to show your guy you respect him.
One of my favorite ways is to ask his opinion on something. Whatever he says to do, do it (be sure you’re not asking his opinion on something you’ve already made up your mind on!)
But showing him that you value his opinions, that you respect what he has to say, will go a long way in making him feel respected.
Another great way is to allow him to overhear you saying nice things about him to others. If you say something to him directly, it’s great, but if you are saying something about him to someone else, he takes it as a compliment more and really helps him to SEE that you love, respect, and cherish him.
I desire you physically
It’s not any wonder that men desire physical intimacy more than women. It’s usually standard across the board, but have you ever considered WHY?
Men read sex as love. When you’re making love, you’re giving him your body, the most important thing you own. He reads that as “I love you”. So when a woman withholds from her husband, she’s doing much more damage to him than she realizes. She’s telling him she doesn’t love him and that makes him feel REALLY, REALLY bad.
It’s not just the act he’s reading into, it’s the emotions behind it. Of course, he wants you to WANT to be intimate with him, not just lay there. You enjoying it, pleases his soul. It makes him happy. It lets him know that you love him.
I trust you
Trust is one of the HARDEST things to give away. In life, there will be times when you’ll be tempted not to trust him. You’ll receive information or hear something. Maybe you’ll see something or just not know what’s going on. If your husband is faithful to you, you always need to give him the benefit of the doubt in every situation. It really goes a long way.
He needs to know that you trust him. It’s okay to get jealous, you SHOULD get jealous sometimes because it only means that you CARE about him, let him see you get jealous. Don’t hide from it or run away. Express your emotions and show him that you care about him. But at the end of the day, you need to trust him.
If he’s done something that has damaged your trust, or if he’s broken it, then it’s a good idea to rebuild that foundation. But you both need to work on rebuilding it together. Trust is very important in a relationship, and it goes both ways. He needs you to trust him. He’s not trying to hurt you; he loves you and cares about you. Over time, you’ll trust him again, and things will be okay.
I believe in you
Do you ever truly wonder WHY guys love to watch cheerleaders? Yeah, we get the whole skirts thing and fantasizing and all that (which is lust), we understand that, but men are deeper than you think and it goes deeper.
He wants to be believed in. It’s a NEED he has. He wants you to be his supporter, encourager, cheerleader.
He needs you to take his side, to believe in him, to trust in him.
When push comes to shove, he wants you to have his back. Every guy wants that, they just may not realize it.
I love you no matter what
Let’s face it, men mess up. We ALL mess up, but men, in general, have a tendency to mess up more. It’s just kinda how it is. He wants to know that you’ll forgive him when he does. That you love him no matter what, unconditionally. Because he IS honestly trying. He’s trying to be a good guy, he’s trying to be a better man than all his friends, he’s trying.
He needs you to SEE that he’s trying. That he’s changing and working on things to be the man that you need.
If you recognize those things in him, it’ll go a long way. Always let him know that you’re in this relationship for the long haul. That he’s not a “place holder” in your life, while you’re looking or scouting for someone better.
Remember that a GOOD relationship is CREATED, not found. The man and the woman both bend toward each other in order to create a life where they are both happy, a united life, a life where they are both loved and treasured for who they are.
I appreciate you
Many, MANY marriages have been lost due to this reason alone. The guy is working hard to become the man he should be, the man that God calls him to be. He’s working hard at work, comes home and is working to fix things around the house, help you with the kids, mow the lawn, take care of the finances, family. He’s got a LOT on his plate.
He needs to feel appreciated. If he’s not appreciated, believe me when I say, he will look for appreciation somewhere else and when he finds it somewhere else, he won’t spend as much time with you or want to be around you. Men are always looking for appreciation. You constantly have to stroke their egos. They are not as tough as they want you to believe. They NEED their egos stroked because underneath that rough and tough exterior, their egos ARE genuinely more fragile than you’d think and you need to understand that.
You can’t treat him like he’s tough all the time. You have to be sensitive to him. You have to show him that tenderness, because he craves it, wants it, but the world tells him that tenderness is feminine and so, he puts on a mask on the outside, pretends he doesn’t have a soft side. Over time, he toughens up, but still deep down, underneath it all, there’s always a softer side.
I’ve grown up around boys my whole entire life, starting from when I was just a child. I’ve never seen ONE man, NOT have a softer side underneath it all, even the most toughest gangsters (I grew up in a rough neighborhood in CA).
Every guy has a softer side, whether he admits it or not, and every man NEEDS to be appreciated.
I need you
Guys need to be needed. Just like they want to be wanted, they NEED to be needed. Ask them to fix something and if you appreciate them (genuinely), they will do it. They LOVE coming to the rescue and saving a girl. It’s inborn. That need of being needed, of saving the girl. They like the feeling they get when they save her and if she’s worth it to him, they’ll do just about anything for her, to save her or make her life less complicated.
They need to be needed. Like as if you can’t get along without them. And believe me, as a single mom for the past 15 years, getting along without a husband IS truly rough. Don’t think for one minute that you can run everything yourself. You can, but you’ll be so tired at the end of the day. Men do a LOT for us, and we need to understand that and meet that need in them to ALLOW them to help us.
LET…him…help…you.
Independence is good, but don’t be so independent that you never let him do anything. You should always be with him, always helping each other. He likes to help you (if you treat him right when he does) because he wants to be needed. He wants you to understand how much he does for you, so pay attention. Pay attention to even the smallest of things he does for you. Praise him, compliment him, appreciate him (again, very genuinely) and he will feel satisfied with you.
I value you
Do you value your guy? Do you love him, appreciate him, showing him how much he means to you? When you value him, you’re, in essence saying, “You’re important to me.” He wants to be important to you. He wants to be the #1 most important human in your life and if you’re married, that IS his spot!!
Your husband should be the most important human being on the planet to you. God is first, then your husband. It’s NOT your children or outside family. It’s your husband and you need to show him that. He needs to know that you value him as a person and that he’s incredibly important to you. He needs to feel valued. What’s one thing you can do this week to show him that you value him?
I’m sorry
Women have the tendency to think they are always right. Men can generally see this and sometimes it can get annoying, especially if the woman is prideful or arrogant about it.
It’s simple, when you mess up, you need to apologize. You have to say you’re sorry. You need to be okay with not being right all the time, because NO human is right all the time.
Don’t let your pride get in the way of a great relationship. Humble yourself, say you’re sorry, ask for his forgiveness, and move on.
These are all things that you can work on to improve your relationship and help your guy feel truly valued and loved. Men need love just like women do, they only show it in different ways. The 9 ways mentioned above are how HE understands love; if you want him to know you love him, you must speak HIS language!