[00:08:12] Ramit: You doubled your salary. That’s transformative. How did it feel when you discovered that you had doubled it?
[00:08:20] DJ: I didn’t even realize it until I was filling out the conscious spending plan that I doubled my salary. It feels amazing, but it’s also really scary because, okay, I’ve doubled my salary. Is that even enough to support the lifestyle that I want?
[00:08:36] Ramit: What kind of lifestyle do you want?
[00:08:38] DJ: I want to be able to travel. I want to have a home, something that belongs to me, and I want to be able to buy clothes, get my hair done whenever I want.
[00:08:50] Ramit: Do you think that somebody on your income should be able to afford that?
[00:08:53] DJ: I think it depends on your values. Right now, I value going to get my hair done.
[00:08:58] Ramit: So you don’t value saving right now. Am I hearing that right?
[00:09:02] DJ: I value saving if I have a goal in mind.
[00:09:05] Ramit: And do you value paying off your credit card debt every single month?
[00:09:09] DJ: If it’s important to Adam, then I care.
[00:09:12] Ramit: Well, why don’t you ask him?
[00:09:14] DJ: Adam, is it important to you that I’m debt free?
[00:09:18] Adam: You don’t have to be debt free. I’m not debt free. I have a lot of debts. But it’s important that you can manage your debts in a way that won’t drag us both down one day.
[00:09:29] Ramit: What did you just take away from that answer?
[00:09:31] DJ: That he sees me being in debt as a risk?
[00:09:34] Ramit: Mm-hmm. Okay. So what was the question you asked him?
[00:09:37] DJ: If me being debt free is important to him.
[00:09:40] Ramit: Uh-huh. And what do you think that he said just now?
[00:09:43] DJ: He said he doesn’t care if I’m debt free, as long as it doesn’t both drag us both down eventually.
[00:09:48] Ramit: Adam, it’s interesting she asked a pretty direct question, and your answer was quite indirect. Did you notice that?
[00:09:55] Adam: Yeah, a little bit. She knows my answers because I’ve been through this before. I am divorced and finances is one of the major roles that screwed it up the first time.
We were both working jobs that we didn’t like, so spending was our way to just feel better. And I don’t know if that what DJ goes through day in, day out. But for me, I was working a job many people would’ve dreamed about, and I was just so miserable. Spending was what got me by.
[00:10:26] Ramit: Mm-hmm.
[00:10:28] Adam: And then a wall hit where the credit cards were so high. It led to disdain for each other and fighting and eventually splitting up.
[00:10:37] Ramit: think that was directly responsible because of money?
[00:10:40] Adam: Money was absolutely one of the top reasons.