*Spoiler: It’s me.
Angel [my boss] and I meet every fortnight.
We don’t do formal updates. We discuss our current progress and what needs to be done over lunch or a cup of coffee.
This time, we lunched.
I was lamenting about the lack of autonomy in my team. She was curious enough to ask for details. And so, I gave it to her.
I went long and short about me becoming the bottleneck. Isabelle, Dora, Ithipol, and Joe would run along to do what they must to get deals, and they would return to me at every point along the journey.
“I am not complaining because I get clarity on what they are doing, and I know that we are progressing. But somehow… something feels off. I am drowning in their tasks. I feel like I am running out of time for mine.”
Angel was quiet throughout.
I recognized this behaviour.
She has something to say.
When speaking out is professional development in disguise
We have been colleagues for 5 years. Or 6, perhaps.
I know Angel is politely waiting for me to finish. That is what I like about her. Angel exhibits an old-fashioned professional decorum I appreciate.
Angel is polite. She listens.
Many ex-bosses tend to talk over me. Oh, trust me. I hate it. I never thought that was the right way to carry ourselves. Angel is a Godsend.
Yes, you read that right. ‘G’ in caps.
I was done, and I was waiting for her coaching notes. Angel was not in a rush. She was still sipping coffee. I know she is structuring her articulations in her head.
Angel is outspoken and direct.
She [finally] put down her cup.
“I know you are talking about your team, but I would start with you. You are the manager. First question. What is the common denominator of all these issues? Ever thought about that?”
This time, I went silent.
I needed some time to reflect. I also know that Angel hates fast responses. To her, pure noise is pure noise. Don’t bother. Take time. Reflect. Think deeper.
I wanted to tell Angel that the team is heavily reliant on me for next-step guidance. Somehow, that feels wrong. Why would it be? These are experienced sales professionals.
Isabelle, my youngest, spent 2 years of her life in this sales team. She knows what to do.
And then, strangely, those 5 words got stuck in my head.
“She knows what to do.”
My inner voice stumped me.
If they knew what to do, why do they keep coming back to me?
I have been speaking in my head for a couple of minutes. Angel decided to interrupt.
She knew I was in Strugglevale.
“Strange, huh? Why do they keep deferring their decision-making process to you? And if they keep doing so, don’t you think we will never scale and grow?”
This time, I nodded.
Angel was right.
The problem resides in the mirror
Angel was pedagogical at first. She wanted me to think.
Now is the time for her to be directed.
“Why do YOU think they keep coming back to YOU?”
I chuckled. Angel was screaming hints at my face. I assured her that I received those hints loud and clear.
I acknowledged the fatal flaw in my thinking right from the start.
“Not them. It’s me. I am perpetually worried that they will forget what must be done. You know, the process, compliance, and reviews with me. I felt I needed control. I remember the last time Dora forgot to chase payment. She forgot about the forging vendor registration process.”
Angel smiled.
It felt as if this was another one of those.
She tried to push me further in the direction of letting go.
“Delegation done appropriately builds autonomy. There is no need to bark at them or control every step along the way. Why don’t you try doing what I am doing with you? We don’t meet every week. I trust you get things done. You should trust them.”
I sighed.
There is a lot more to learn from her.
The close
I grappled with the next steps.
What can I do to delegate appropriately?
Angel gave me one principle to abide by. It goes like this.
“Check-in. Don’t check. Let go. They know what to do. Close your eyes and breathe easy. The team will not collapse without your intervention. Control freaks live a short life.”
Angel made sense. She ended with this.
“You must let go so you can free up your time and mind to work on my tasks. May I remind you that you have been late in your deliverables to me recently? This cannot go on.”
I laughed.
What a long way to tell me that I am late in my work.
Well, well.