“My wife is always spending time with her friends and outside family, she’s not doing what she’s supposed to. If she helped me more, I wouldn’t have to work so hard. What do I do?”
Ouch, that’s tough. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that.
The first thing I would say is that you can’t change someone else. You can’t make her want to work or even to help you. It really has to be her heart.
I would say though that she’s literally not being who she was created to be. Women were created for man. We were created to help our husbands. That’s literally our job in life. To help him, to support him, to make him not lonely and to be with him. If she’s not helping you, she’s in clear sin and not lining up to who she was designed to be. Genesis 2:18, 1 Corinthians 11:3, 1 Corinthians 11:8-9.
Secondly, are your expectations too high? Most likely they are not, but it’s always a good idea to check. If you expect her to take care of the kids, keep a clean home, AND work 80 hours a week for example, it’s just not realistic.
However, if she’s doing a lot of petty things, things that don’t matter for eternity, or spending all her time on the kids and ignoring your needs, then it’s a good idea to have a conversation with her and tell her how you feel.
Be honest, be sincere, be tender.
Show her how you don’t believe she’s lining up to the Proverbs 31 woman. Ask her if she’s willing to change this.
Then, all you can do is make it a matter of consistent prayer until something changes.
Leave it to God, she answers to Him, and God WILL chastise her if she’s a believer if she’s not taking your requests (anything that is not sin) seriously. He WILL work in the situation. Talk to her honestly and leave it in His hands until He changes things, but keep praying!!